The Extraordinary, Ordinary Nature of Interabled Love
In my 2024 solo art exhibit, I will highlight the relationship between myself as a disabled woman and my husband as an able-bodied man. Through it I will explore representing the everyday aspects of an interabled relationship through a large series of paintings.
What makes up an ordinary life?
The Vision for the 2024 Exhibition
The exhibit will happen July 30 to August 24, 2024 at cSPACE Marda Loop in Calgary, Canada
While people with disabilities have always existed, they weren’t seen and felt in wider society until relatively recently largely due to advances in technology and accessibility. For instance, the invention of the power wheelchair—a piece of technology absolutely essential to my independence—came about a scant twenty years before I was born.
I believe that this lack of visibility has led to a variety of misconceptions about the lives of people with disabilities. These might take the form of extremely negative interpretations of a disabled life centred around medicalization, lack of function and being a burden to others. They might equally take the form of overly positive representations where the disabled person is relegated to the role of inspirational “super crip”. Both of these extremes can take their toll and provide little space for the disabled to feel like they can have ordinary lives and relationships.
For myself, there was a time when I believed that having a romantic partner was an impossibility for me as a disabled woman because I had yet to see a woman that looked like me in a relationship. This message was further reinforced by those that loved me and wanted to protect me because they too had never seen such a relationship.
In this exhibit, I will explore the journey of how I met my husband, Stefan, in 2014 and the moments—both mundane and life-changing—that have formed the building blocks of our lives together. This series made up of portraits, landscapes and still life paintings will be based on either snapshots taken on my phone or memories of moments that have become hazy and indistinct with time.
Striving for an Accessible Exhibit Experience
Some of the ways I hope to accomplish this include:
Hanging the paintings and the description panels at a height that is accessible to wheelchair users
Creating a series of short podcast episodes accessible via QR codes on site as a way to experience the paintings through audio for those who are blind or have low vision. The podcast series will also be framed such that it provides an alternate experience for sighted participants as well.
An Invitation to Participate
Digitally collaged image highlighting one couple’s experience
In March 2019, Dr. Phil aired an episode of his TV series titled “I Swiped Right on My Quadriplegic Boyfriend” and advised the interabled couple that he brought on the show that an able-bodied woman dating a disabled man “can be his lover or you can be his caregiver, but you can’t be both… It won’t work, 100 out of 100 times this won’t work.” Unsurprisingly, this outraged the disabled community and spawned the social media hashtag #100outof100 where couples showcased their highly successful relationships built upon both romantic love and the caregiving that can spring out of having disability as part of the relationship.
The Dr. Phil episode and the disabled community’s response to it made it clear to me that there is further work to be explored around love and disability. The 2024 exhibit highlights the experience of myself and my husband, however we are far from being unique, as evidenced by the fact that the #100outof100 hashtag has over 6000 tagged images on Instagram.
Collaboration with Couples
Between February and May of 2023, I invited couples in romantic relationships where one or both partners identify as having a disability to share their words and photos of their lives together. Select responses are now being digitally collaged and the images will be presented on a 50” TV in the exhibit space.
My hope is to celebrate a wide range of experiences and show all the ways that love and disability can show up in a relationship.
With Thanks
This project is made possible through the generous support of Canada Council for the Arts, the City of Calgary and the Calgary Arts Development.
